Taking up space: a theme I’ve seen emerging over my last few weeks. The fear of being a burden. The fear of imposing. The hesitance to ask for help. The reluctant to express an opinion. Suppression of your wants and desires. The fear of taking up space.
Why is it that we are so available to help others, but when the tables turn, we suppress our need to ask for help? How many times have you been told “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask” in some version or another. And how many times have you actually identified what you need and asked for it?
From an early age, we are conditioned to put on a front. To appear strong, resilient, and independent. And while we may be all of those things, we are also human. And humans need ____. I hesitate to fill in that blank. Humans need. Period. We need love, we need partnership, we need to feel heard, we need to be understood, we need to feel validated and supported, we need to release and we need to gain. Pick your blank, but the moral of the story is, we need.
Because “need” is a basic human instinct, why are we conditioned to suppress? To have a need means to have vulnerability. It means you may not be able to do it alone, that you may need someone other than yourself.
I challenge you. Speak up. Ask for what you want. Ask the “dumb” question. Take up space. Lean into the fear. You may just find, vulnerability fosters vulnerability.